Stillness prevails in the snow
February 5, 2012
Its been awhile since I posted, well on here anyhow, keeping three blogs going is like a chinese acrobat balancing the saucers on poles !!.
However today the snow bought with it an unexpected surprise, space, time to watch the stillness out of the window, that kind of dead sound that only snow can produce that seems to permeate everything and bring it to a standstill. I love it and found time to phone a dear friend who I havent spoken to in along while.
Its been a strange week, everyday very full, putting a presentation together, meeting suppliers, finalising designs to place on order, getting organised for my buying trip to Amsterdam tomorrow. The icing on this proverbial gateaux is full and thick but the cherry on the top just had to be when I pulled my left shoe from my bag and left the huge cumbersome boot and crutches behind me.
Sitting here this afternoon sipping my Paul D’arco tea, the taste of which I have now become accustomed to, I read about a tea atelier in New York called Bellocq. So I looked it up………. such wonderful names and blends take a look here http://www.bellocq.com/
and I thought the invisible mother was bad enough
January 29, 2012
To think I was a teenager in this era, what messages did I receive into my uncouncious mind? Actually my mother was a great role model for me, she would not be subordinate to anyone, worked hard and was financially independant with a strong work ethic…….. until she met husband no.2 and produced my little brother
This is probably why I have run my own business for last 20 years and left a marriage that was not at all “balanced”…….. dont think I dont believe in marriage, because I do, I just haven’t seen any marriages that convince me its the right thing.
I look at these images with shock actually, and can see why it resulted in such a backlash, burning bras and the like. Think because I did not grow up in the archetypal image of a household where dad was respected and mum stayed at home, I couldnt see what all the fuss was about, always felt it went to the extreme, but this is how the pendulum of change swings, the the extremes before settling back down.
But has sexism gone?, NO! we all know that, its just in a different format, its gone underground !! still alive but not so blatant !!
images courtesy of Vintage Ad Sexism | Retronaut.
Busy Busy or is just a state of mind.
January 24, 2012
Am I busy? is it a frame of mind? yes I have a lot on that has to be said, but I am noticing that when I keep thinking and saying I am so busy how am I going to fit everything in, then the feeling of never having enough time seems to permeate my day. Neve feel I am making headway. So now I am beginning to realise i need to replace this view, its not serving me at all!! ”There is enough time”, just holding this thought I notice a different vibrational quality, this is going to become my new mantra.
So today I am up at 4.30, have done my meditation, written my morning pages, which is a must and so helpful to me to empty my thoughts and write it out so to speak. Its now 7, still pitch black outside, going to make breakfast, grated apple, desert spoon each of jumbo oats, sunflower, flax and pump seeds and then when all stirred into the wet shards of apple I put a dollop of Rachel’s greek style natural yog on top. Sometimes in my homemade yoghurt, but not this morning.
then it will be off to the office, have to finish of an apartment design, continue with a presentation for Feb 1, continue ongoing work on 7 other projects, keep calm and meet a supplier and keep telling myself “there is enough time” Its full on no doubt but if I take my day in my stride, hold a knowingness that each day unfolds in precisely the correct fashion, what gets done today is what is meant, and for each day as it unfolds…………..
Today’s image is a mandala I sketched out in a state of ecstasy and purest joy, after dancing five rhythms for 90 mins I was on such a high, I am going to link this image with my Mantra, so everytime I say “there is enough time” I can call up this feeling too………
Surefooted?
January 17, 2012
18 more days to go and they appear to be going very slowly !! This is a first, I have ever broken a bone in my life !! To be incapacitated in this way has been a lesson in patience, this is for sure. Not being able to walk out in nature and unable to drive the car have been the two most causes of frustration for me.
For those who know me, I love walking in nature, especially by the sea. I can think of nothing better to walk along the beach or sit and meditate as the sun rises slowly above the horizon. Similarly bathing in the glow of a coral sunset is something I can only dream of at the moment.
Its strange how the time with my foot seems to be dragging along, counting the days appears to be making it stretch further into the distance but in my interior design practice always working and planning ahead time seems to fly ! Yesterday we worked out our plan of current projects for the year and beyond, from now until July haven’t time to breath an inch, in July a small gap fit in a holiday and then its all go again until end of feb 2013 and more coming up for air again.
What have I learned in these weeks as they pass, guess its how I don’t allow enough time for myself. Always thinking of my responsibilities to others and always putting my needs in the background. Guess that comes from having my ruling planet as Saturn with qualities of discipline and responsibillity I also realise that if I am to get space to fulfil my needs then I do have to share my knowledge, teach others, inspire them to bring out their talents and let my company expand again. I never wanted a large company, and back a few years ago it was much bigger than it is now, but with all the work coming in like a tsunami wave the need here is to grow to enable everything to function.
My Sun is Capricorn and my birthday is actually tomorrow, just begun to see a link, the goat is surefooted, climbing the mountain to the top !! it’s a sea goat too, hence my connection with walking by the sea! I broke my foot, my sure footed one? , why? Will have to meditate on this one………………
Gratitude
January 4, 2012
With the last two weeks sitting around with my foot up ideas pop up and I record them, either stored in the mental filing cupboard or links and images put in the relevant files on my laptop, its never ending. So today instead of sitting in the window watching the world go by, I will use my crutches to get to the office and start organising our very hectic schedule for the coming months, first thing is to search for a new employee. Anyone out there with a good sense of spatial awareness, colour sense, good computer skills and above all can take on respsonsibillity with confidence and a will to succeed, please contact me.
Up early, first day back at work for two weeks. Since moving my offices I now only have about 100yds to get to work, what a blessing, not being able to drive my car at least until Feb 4th! its a godsend. Beside my home is a mews where the stables, blacksmith, and gardner’s cottage are located. These were there uses back in the 1800′s but now the gardner’s cottage is my office and design studio, the blacksmiths is now my own personal art studio and the area where there would have been greenhouses along the kitchen garden wall is now where I sit and have coffee when I need to take a break from the hectic schedule. It faces south and even in winter there are still days when the sky is blue and there are no clouds for the sun to hide behind, that I can sit out there, wrapped in scarves and gloves and hold a steaming hot cup of coffee and feel the sun warming my face…………….. just what is needed to calm the soul.
Being a designer can be very hectic in the “head” so much goes on in there !! and at times it never stops, the office day finishes around 6pm but my designing head never stops, always absorbing ideas, gaining inspiration from the world around me. I love getting up around 6am and just sitting there in the peace and stillness of the morning and watching the sun rise, although on these winter mornings it takes a long while for the sun to come up, today around 7.30. Meditation, writing my “morning pages” is a must, its how I achieve “internal space” for each new day to unfold in.
It is so exciting to have so many wonderful projects to be working on and I feel such gratitude to have abundance in this difficult climate.
The call of the wild
January 1, 2012
Hello to all who follow my ramblings, I would like to say thank you and also wish you good things in your life during this new year, a momentous one I suspect.
For me I want to live in abundance in all things, in life, in love, in spirit, in creativity, in health, in grace, in courage and above all in my wildness. The latter is so important to us all, for with this we can reach our true potential. My wildness can cause sparks to fly, to love with immense passion, it can steer me of course sometimes with hard lessons learnt but it has enabled me to find my true instinctual and intuitive self and believe in her!
I love these words by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, they just might inspire you, I hope so………………….
The way to maintain one’s connection
to the wild
is to ask yourself
what is it that you want.
One of the most important discriminations
we can make in this matter
is the difference between things that beckon to us
and things that call from our souls.
We choose a thing because
it just happened to be beneath
our noses at that moment in time.
It is not necessarily what we want,
but it is interesting,
and the longer we gaze at it,
the more compelling it becomes.
When we are connected
to the instinctual self,
to the soul of the feminine
which is natural and wild,
then instead of looking over
whatever happens to be on display,
we say to ourselves,
“What am I hungry for?”
Without looking at anything outwardly,
we venture inward and ask,
“What do I long for?
What do I wish for now?
What do I crave?
What do I desire?
For what do I yearn?”
It takes spirit,
will,
and soulfulness
and it often means……….
holding out for what one wants.
Been awhile
December 1, 2011
Havent posted in awhile, and now two posts……… Have been a bit preoccupied, my little Lilly has been fading away, until she finally died in my arms a week ago. I shall miss her, she has been my friend for 15 years. Its so sad when they go, this is my second one, Ferdy her playmate, both persian, died a couple of years ago.
Solitude
August 17, 2011
“I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.” ~Henry David Thoreau
What would I be without it………… These days I cannot find my way through the day if I dont find time for space to be alone, to potter around, meditate, walk in the park, write my journal and have that feeling of total silence. My early morning sojourns over the common across the road from me are bliss, sitting on my favourite bench, feeling the growing warmth on my back as the sun rises behind me, the birdsong, the breeze on my skin.
Pottering about before my work day started I picked a bowl of figs from the most abundant tree I have seen in long while, lucky for me its long branches have made there way over to my side of the fence ! Its lusccious fruits hung down swollen with the ripe sweetness, and as I bit into the soft moistness its honeyed flesh I felt real gratitude for this tree going about its business in complete solitude.
The Benefits of Solitude
The best art is created in solitude, for good reason: it’s only when we are alone that we can reach into ourselves and find truth, beauty, soul. Some of the most famous philosophers took daily walks, and it was on these walks that they found their deepest thoughts.
Just a few of the benefits
- time for thought
- in being alone, we get to know ourselves
- we face our demons, and deal with them
- space to create
- space to unwind, and find peace
- time to reflect on what we’ve done, and learn from it
- isolation from the influences of other helps us to find our own voice
- quiet helps us to appreciate the smaller things that get lost in the roar
There are many more benefits, but that’s to get you started. The real benefits of solitude cannot be expressed through words, but must be found in doing.
a new path begins – The Fool and his journey
August 7, 2011
That childlike confidence, stepping out without a care in the world. The Fool, the archetype thats take the the hero’s journey through the numbered cards of the Major Arcana.
For me these represent the journey we all embark on, its called “Life”. Guess this is the big picture, but within this inevitable cycle of birth, death and rebirth, that keeps turning, there are many smaller “wheels” many deaths. We need these deaths to give space , we have to let go of things that no longer serve us, all the areas of our life where “we do” just out of habit, or some preconcieved thought processes that we may have adopted from out parents limiting belief systems. Their comes a time when you wake up, enough is enough ! suddenly there are new possibilities, new challenges on the horizon that are beckoning……….
Quietly sitting in the solitude of my studio I felt drawn to create a lino cut, THE FOOL instantly captured my thoughts and it wasn’t until I was looking at it the finished result this morning, I realised the signifigance of the subject I had chosen. I have a new path that is about to unfold next month, something that has been lurking in my mind for so long, years in fact. In September I am to embark on a 3 year training programme to become a Transpersonal Art Therapist. I first heard about this course some years back when I attended sculpture classes at a studio based on the teachings of Rudolph Steiner. I new then that one day when I wasn’t so busy I would apply. It took a literal death of someone who had a big influence in my life, this made me sit up and think, follow your dreams……… and I have
I am so excited, I feel like this child like person embarking on a magical journey, not knowing what to expect, taking that leap of faith. I know too it will have its challenges, just as in life but now I know how to be in the flow of life, not resist, to accept “what is” and left life unfold in front of me.
Wow, where did all the time go?
July 16, 2011
I cannot believe I have not posted in such a long time…….. It wasn’t conscious decision however not to post, but it has been a time of being with me, processing life. With my move to my new office, life has taken on a different pace, my old routine has gone out of the window and a new “place” is taking residence within. Been busy finding “homes” for everything, keeping it streamlined and creating a light inspiring space within to provide an environment that doesn’t feel like the normal” going to work” . I think its working……………. My day starts sitting here
Having a coffee, checking to see if there is anything that I need to know before I start to answer emails and get down to business here
Afternoon tea, is sitting here,
or perhaps sharing on our large central table here
So Angry, can the angels hear?
June 4, 2011
Yesterday the anger was brewing, I am moving offices next week, so much is getting stirred up, remember back in 1995 when I moved in to my new offices, although full of excitement it was a sad time for many, many reasons. This all came back up and by the time the evening had set in, had a bath and ready to watch film and relax the anger and feelings of vengefulness just overflowed. I lost my sense of being able to discriminate between what the anger was basically about and what was everyday niggles, everything seemed to need some kind of vengeful action, the adrenaline was flowing and i was ready for action.
This morning I awoke after restless night and tried to just write the angry feeling out if me, then I drew from my heart, something about angels hearing? , did it help , yes ! and then went out and treated myself to a new mediation cushion !
Crystal Ball – a glimpse into my world
May 1, 2011
All back on track now, so much going on of late, so many distractions and also a lot of time to think. Travels to Chartres Cathedral and Brittany, Torn ligament in knee, laptop died. So drugged up with pain meds one weekend it just drifted by in a sleep haze. This weekend much better, loads of rest which my knee needs and a dash of creative inspiration, time to write ( writing a fairy story), time to read “The mysteries and Chartres”, time to just be and time to be a little creative.
Have been very Inspired by my son’s creations , he is soon exhibiting in a London art fair and have been watching his pieces coming together, very inspiring, so much so it spurred me to interpret something my way.
Here is the result, a glimpse into my world…….. I get lost in there sometimes, so much goes on inside, like a magical mystery tour. Sometimes I wonder when people peer in if they see clearly, does my glass bubble, my crystal ball that I call home need polishing and cleaning m0re regularly so people can gain a better understanding of who I am ?……. then I stop thinking, this is the best time of all, because nothing exists really, only that which my thoughts conjure up. I know my thought process depends on which lenses I wear in my metaphorical glasses, sometimes they are clear and bright and everything is, sunny, hopeful, joyous and full of wonder, sometimes the old lenses in the back of the box gets inserted and the view is not so good and thoughts can plummet, its then that I remember they are only an old viewpoint and I can take them out and be left with no thoughts, just taking every moment as it comes and watch life unfold, watch as it ebbs and flows and have this inner knowingness that everything in life is just as it should be, even when, as my inner world shows there are serpents and ravens, flowers and rabbits, butterflies and tortoises………………
Click on the image for a larger view
A cousin to the swan?
March 29, 2011
My day at the office over, a warm evening beckoned…………. Home? No, corner shop for some bread and off to the park, and the beautiful lake to feed the ducks, or should I say the geese! Eager, they wouldn’t leave me alone, pecking my trousers, my bag, couldn’t get the bread out of the bag quick enough,
White geese, nursery rhymes, childhood, play and laughter, cousin to the swan Louisa May Alcott said
“She knew she was not nightingale, Yet spite of much abuse, She longed to help and cheer the world,
Although a plain gray goose. She could not sing, she could not fly, Nor even walk with grace, And all the farm-yard had declared A puddle was her place.
But something stronger than herself Would cry, ‘Go on, go on!’ Remember, though an humble fowl, You’re cousin to a swan.”
Some say that The goose exemplifies a call to the spiritual quest, particularly in its migration patterns and behaviors. The geese leaving in the autumn stirs our imagination and makes us want to search out new worlds and dimensions. Their incessant honking seems to be calling us to follow them on the great spiritual quest. Their return speaks of the fulfilled promises that great quests bring.
Mary Olive wrote this beautiful poem `’Wild Geese”
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting — over and over announcing your place in the family of things.
The goose also is a totem of communication, especially through the use of stories. Its feather for a long time was the standard writing instrument. Individuals wishing to write can facilitate the process by working with the goose as a totem. It will stimulate the imagination and help move you through creative blocks. Writing with a goose quill pen will help this even more.
It was a perfect evening………………….
A picture paints many stories
March 9, 2011
on my way to work this morning, this little trio on my dining table caught me eye, they all tell a story in their own right, it just seemed strange they just landed there together, captured in time now on my iphone.
The white roses were bought for me last Friday, it had been a really full on week, had just got in and making a cuppa when came a knock on the door, A beatiful bunch of white roses thrust in my hands, the stress melted away, and a warmth flowed, someone cared, and that felt really good
the Dr Hofmann, figure, is one of my collectable toys, I bought this back in 2006, after I had completed the Hoffman Process, a week that literally changed my life. They are not at all connected though, Dr Hofmann is a street artist ad the Hoffman process is a week long residential course where you get to use a baseball bat to great affect !!! But I feel they were made for each other.
The image, is a page from vogue magazine dated 1962, I bought this at a vintage fare I attended over the weekend. the colours of pink and black look so striking I couldn’t resist. In 1962 I was 13 years old, life was ahead of me, and looking back wow, what a life. A real roller coaster of extreme highs and extreme lows. I feel I am on a new journey now and the Hoffman Process was a catalyst for this change So much has happened to me, so much has been unearthed, forgiven and let go off, the process of transformation is still in the making but in my bones it feels good……………
colourful day
March 6, 2011
vintage fare, mexican embroidery, todays find………… where will this end up? not sure, buying lots of colourful things lately, could be destined to be upholstered in the back of french chair? or just a humble cushion, but wherever it ends up in my home, I know it will bring a big smile every time i see it……….
Oh and also some vintage adverts for Schiaperelli’s perfume Shocking by Marcel Vertes, now these are for my bedroom , this is for sure
