Is this the “calm” before or after the storm

for the last couple of weeks my home and my mind have been a state of chaos.  Have been wanting to decorate my flat for a long time, but have never really made a concerted effort to do anything about it.  However a few weeks a go, enough was enough, have been selling and recycling everything I feel I have “attachments” to.    My B+B Italia sofa which was such an effort getting in though my window 11 years ago was finally taken to with an axe and taken to the refuse tip in several large blue ikea bags………….  My pair of white Barcelona chairs sold and gone to Cornwall, couple of antique Horseshoe style chairs sold, a variety of console tables, large coffee table, footstools and cubes gone to YMCA.  In the meantime I have decorator in who has started with the lounge, completely sanded down everything including the floor and has repainted.

BIG CHALLENGE is wall colour, I love colour and sketch and paint with oil pastels and sticks in bright clashing shades, but when it comes to my surroundings, I just don’t want to be surrounded that makes too much of a statement………  So I am being challenged here, cant seem to make a decision that feels right totally, have feelings of “if I am having redecorated I may as well have a colour” , but making a choice that calms my soul but that reflects something about me is keeping me in a state of anxiety .  I can do it for others, this is my job! but when it comes to me, it’s not so easy.

I find this self-same issue in my clothes, black, white, grey, dark blue, severe, sombre colours……………..  that’s not what goes on in my head, its like a rainbow in there, but outside that’s so different.  Today I have been sitting with shades of grey, from pavilion to downpipe,  black painted floor, ivory paint work.  Lucky that I live in a flat with really beautiful proportions, high ceilings, windows that come down to floor and detailed Victorian mouldings.  It seems to be gelling more and feeling a tad more calm about it all, bit I have the whole flat to do, hoping this will get easier as I go along.

Can’t seem to upload any images at the moment, keeps freezing……….  will have another go soon.

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