Perfectionism

Have spent some of the weekend writing up guided meditations, visualisations and all manner of stuff for a forthcoming workshop in Malta I run with a couple of friends.   In doing so I was inspired to create this image.   I call it THE MASK ………….. of perfectionism. 

I have worked with many people who are crippled by this, unable to sometimes  even make any steps forward because of the immense anxiety.   Often this control comes of out of a real sense of sadness within, it cannot be revealed at any cost so the person controls their external environment to such a degree that absolutely everything around them has to be perfect. I too have this incidious trait, it can be so cruel, I have battled with this a long time, its a lot easier now I have learnt to let go a little and life has become somewhat less anxious but the creative process can sometimes be a nightmare.  Dr Estes wrote a letter on facebook about perfectionsism,  she explains it so well, I have posted it on my other blog, click here

The image is done in oil paint, oil pastels, scanned into my laptop and layered digitally……………

Friday flowers

Another week has passed with no posts, busy at work, busy with my monthly newsletter,  It’s all good and everything as it should be.

Today I gave myself a beautiful little treat, passing by a little country cottage on my way out for a nice walk with a friend of mine, I came across these beautiful bunches of flowers, sweet peas, dahlias and asters, so perfectly bright, cheery and smelled so sweet, just perfect as you can see.  I adore sweet peas, when I had an allotment a few years back now, I always had sweet peas growing so I could have a jug full of  the  bright coloured stems next  to my bed.  Just looking at them brings a big smile to my face and lots of happy memories of  sowing and planting out, weeding and harvesting, always ending a stint on the allotment with a flask of tea sitting outside my shed with Brian, my allotment neighbour  and sharing his years of  experience growing veg, we would chatter away and laugh, drink the last drops from the flask, then I would gather a bunch of the heady perfumed sweet peas and drive of home.  Happy memories.

Ended up walking along  Ditchling Beacon, a little ways only as it was quite chilly and very blustery, but enough to blow the cobwebs away and  put my life back in to perspective.  The Beacon is the highest point in East Sussex and one  can see for miles around.   I had hoped to have a nice drive in my new car with the top down, but it was too chilly.  Did for awhile though, with the heated seats on full blast !!

Lunched in THE WHITE HORSE at Ditching village, a nice simple pub, with nice simple food, totally unpretentious, warm and welcoming…………. http://www.whitehorseditchling.com/index.html

All I want to do now is sleep…………………..

A wonderful end to a busy week

Last week was full on busy, head full of rooms, plans, colours, I have this kind of virtual reality thing that goes into overdrive when I am creating.  I have to vision very clearly and in minute detail, for me to be able to attract in what I need to complete each stage of the projects in hand.  So posting here sadly, has been neglected

However enough of all that, just had to tell you about the start of my weekend, this is the second time I have tried to see this film and this time succeeded.  Coco and Igor, some of write ups and have not been that wonderful, but I was enthralled, not only by the brooding emotions that pull you through the film, the interiors and the graceful image that Coco herself imparts, but IGOR STRAVINSKY and his music it made my hair stand on end…………….   the delicate notes that start the Rites of Spring, oh how I would love to have been and the premier in 1913, the mayhem that ensued.  Its so difficult to put this piece and the dancing into the context of that time, the savage freedom of movement I guess must have seemed so shocking then, but today sadly, so tame.  His music lives on, as does Chanel, although I cannot help think that their “romance” was maybe not as momentous as the film would have us believe. Undeniably though, their passion poured through influencing their work and elevating it to a higher level.    Coco , with her early childhood issues obviously had great difficulty in forming relationships and this was born out in both films, I think to her, Igore was one of many of her conquests of unobtainable men, and when she conquered  them it became all to threatening and she withdrew into her world of fashion, a real ice queen, maintaining her independence and the need to be “Free”  .  She died having never having married, living in her ivory tower a very successful but lonely woman.

Stravinsky’s music is full on emotional roller coaster, his gift of imparting his passion into every note lives on,  I have posted  a trailer to the film, and also a piece from Disneys’ film Fantasia which is accompanied by a piece from Firebird, a ballet which sealed the union between Diaghlev and Stravinsky aged 28, premiered in Paris in 1910.  Three years before The Rite of Spring.

Hungry or thirsty?

Mmm, sunday morning, relaxing as usual and thinking of  breakfast……..  or should I say lunch or brunch or just a nice milky coffee.    Decisions, decisions, wish they were alway this simple.   Actually making a decision is really simple, its the framework within which we place the decision that determines if it’s going to be difficult or not.  If we think its going to be difficult, then it is, if we go with our gut instinct, our intuiiton its really simple.   Have you ever been in a situation whereby you cannot see the wood for the trees?  and the more anxious you become the foggier the decision making process becomes?  I know in the past when I am designing and being creative,  I have an initial idea, I put it to oneside because my “mind” begins to tell me this isnt good enough, try something else, and my mind churns out more and more, I get more confused.  Then standing back I look over all the drawings, and  most times go back to the initial thought.  Our intuitive process I believe comes from the soul, then our minds, our intellect kicks in and starts questioning, DONT LISTEN, dont let it take control, it can just lead you into a maze, going around and around.

Well I am off now to make a nice milky bowl of steaming coffee,  decided I was thirsty, just like the bowl below, or is it ?……………….. by Ronit Baranga click here

Suzani and friends

today I received my parcel today from Tashkent, Uzbekistan !!  How exciting, ripping open the brown paper and wrapped inside in a plastic carrier bag, was my precious suzani, a hand emmroidered cloth I bought on ebay.

I have another one coming that is similar colours but a slightly different pattern, the two together plus some plain fabric i am going to create  wonderfully coloured wing chairs that will sit at my new desk.  Actually its a long trestle table, in aged silver oak, over 3m in length at which I can sit and create, write letters and eat breakfast as it looks out across to the common.

A suzani for those who may not know is a hand embroidered cloth, usually sewn in panels and joined sewn together to make a large piece.  From Central Asia, these pieces would from part of a brides dowry, shows her skills at embroidery.  Often used as wall hangings and bedcovers.  Each region can be identified by its designs, but need to research this a bit more.

Such wonderful colours, and each embroidered shape is so neatly sewn, the back is almost as neat as the front, such tiny, tiny stitches.

above are my little friends, the large boy you will recognise from my before images, (if you click the image above you will see)  he is painted black at the moment, thinking of either a bright pink shade, or repainting him white with a white with a white sculptural shade and putting in my bedroom……. decisions, decisions.  The other little friends are my all time faves my japanese collector doll uamou ,  buuts buuts uamou and boo.  Unfortunately buuts got a rubbing over by my cleaning lady and lost part of her head piece which was very annoying……….  we have a bit of a love hate relationship, but all in all we get through, the flat gets cleaned.  I cant do everything sadly, my interior design work takes a huge chunk of my time and the last thing I want to do in my spare time is clean………  You can can see the whole range of collectable uamous here http://www.uamou.com/shop/index.html