Trying again for this New Year

img_6249one of my decisions this time last year was to keep an art diary, for some reason, for many days I just started at the blank page and could not get inspired and then the day job just took over big time.  So with the new year just started I thought I would try again.  This time a different tack, have decided I can be creative in any way and it doesn’t have to be within  the confines of my sketch book.

First two days I gathered some boards and papers, favourite cuttings from magazines, printed out some photos I have taken and so on.  Now today is day 3 and finally did a quick soft pastel sketch using Unison pastels, handmade in England !  Kind of inspired by the view from my bay window this evening as the sun was setting. Felt very rusty, but very pleased with myself.  This muscle over the past year hasn’t had much exercise as its been absorbed in the day ID day job.

This year I have promised myself a more balanced day, starting  meditation,  3o min sketch with watercolour, pastels, pen and ink, charcoal, the morning pages and a walk in the park taking pictures any details that inspire.  Then, say once a month or more dedicate my creativity to weekend studio sessions, picking up on my daily creations and explore them further.  We shall see how it all unfolds, if the intention is there I am sure something will come of it.

words, so many words

pen

208,560 words to be exact have tumbled from my memory and taken me on one hell of a journey over these past months.  I had hoped to have this book finished and two copies printed as gifts to my adult children but alas no, hopefully by end of January I shall have completed, then a final edit, photographs added and prepared to upload for the printing process, so possibly easter maybe.

I didn’t consider at the outset of putting pen to paper that my character and mental wellbeing would rise and plummet in real time along with the journey that started so long ago.  There were days I felt euphoric and the words flowed so fast and furious as I recalled the vitality of youth and those first tentative steps out into the wildness of the early 60’s and the birth of my two children.  At other times my energy has been totally sapped and felt as if  walking in treacle.  Days when I stared at the paper and just could not find the words to express the death of my mother, felt shut away in cotton wool and everything felt silent, distant and muffled like the deathly hush of fresh laid snow, just as it did in the experience I was trying to convey.  Memories are very powerful indeed, they can be recalled and relived with the same level intensity as when first encountered and many times this year has caught me totally of guard.

Above all, everything makes sense to me now, I can see clearly the cosmic forces at work and with Saturn my ruling planet he has certainly been a hard task master, teaching me lessons so punishingly hard to learn that they bought me to my knees on several occasions.  I learnt the hard way, some would say this is only the way, maybe it is?   Guess it couldn’t have been any other way, life is in the unfolding and it is to be embraced not resisted or feared, it is just as is should be.

 

 

 

 

It truly is a silent night

Everywhere is now silent, no passing cars, no neighbours partying, just a beautiful stillness and a feeling of satisfaction knowing that what I have prepared for christmas is perfect and what I didn’t manage is perfect also.  I sang Carol’s this evening, not quite like the one here, but just wonderful nonetheless.  Happy Christmas everyone.

do we have to fight, should we have to fight, NO

Zaha Hadid, my hero has died………….  her hunger for life, extinguished.  I recently listened to her interview on Desert Island Discs and came away with a heaviness in my heart about her struggle being a woman in the male dominated architectural world was obvious, her hunger in pursuit of a creative life leaves behind an amazing legacy, she definitely thought outside of the box and used the natural world around her to inform  the incredible buildings that now appear around the world.  A true visionary.

Reading all the architectural greats expressing their sadness of Zaha’s death, one stood out from Richard Rogers, especially the word “fought”

“She was a great architect, a wonderful woman and wonderful person,” Lord Rogers said. “Among architects emerging in the last few decades, no one had any more impact than she did. She fought her way through as a woman. She was the first woman to win the Pritzker prize.

This quote brings up so many emotions about equality of the sexes, about how its not enough to be as good as the male counterpart but as a woman one has to be 100% greater to be considered equal………….  One has to “fight” just as mr rogers expressed.  Did the fighting takes its toll on her?  Yes, I believe it did it someway, She was a strong and powerful and visionary woman, its so obvious, was fighting to achieve this necessary?  uncomfortable feeling keep arising, letting them in ……………