Mixed media, sketch, watercolour, colour pencil
pebbles, stones, found glass
its been awhile since posting here, have been in total overwhelm……. day job taken over, new kitchen being fitted in my home, one thousand and one pressing demands just felt I have been drowning !! I did manage to get away in between this mayhem and get total rest and sunshine with friends in Malta. But plunged back in the deap ocean again swimming against the tide this week
Coming back up for some air ! Once this project is ready for the launch on 6th June I can breath again and get back to my creative self !! I am lucky my day job is creative, its been such a huge part of my life since March, very rewarding but I need to start my own path again soon. Its like there are two of me, one creating environments for people to enjoy and another feeling a little frustrated that she hasnt time to express a new path……. It will come, can feel it my bones !!
Here is a piece that I worked on some while back , drowning in the ocean……….(click on image for a larger view)
Have spent some of the weekend writing up guided meditations, visualisations and all manner of stuff for a forthcoming workshop in Malta I run with a couple of friends. In doing so I was inspired to create this image. I call it THE MASK ………….. of perfectionism.
I have worked with many people who are crippled by this, unable to sometimes even make any steps forward because of the immense anxiety. Often this control comes of out of a real sense of sadness within, it cannot be revealed at any cost so the person controls their external environment to such a degree that absolutely everything around them has to be perfect. I too have this incidious trait, it can be so cruel, I have battled with this a long time, its a lot easier now I have learnt to let go a little and life has become somewhat less anxious but the creative process can sometimes be a nightmare. Dr Estes wrote a letter on facebook about perfectionsism, she explains it so well, I have posted it on my other blog, click here
The image is done in oil paint, oil pastels, scanned into my laptop and layered digitally……………
Not sure where these feeling come from today, but wherever they came from they spurred me to translate them into creating these works. Maybe its my head, all the ideas, could be lots of mixed emotions all vying for attention. That feeling of spaghetti, everything enmeshed together, cant untangle into tangible threads…………… Good job I had them I think because I like the results, what do you think?
I awoke on Saturday morning with a real sense excitement, like a “fizzing” feeling going on inside, and tingly, needing to create something. My mind seems to go into overdrive and images, colours, thoughts, past journeys, magazine clips, feelings I want to portray, all manner of ideas swirl around like an “eddy” in a stream. Its as if they get caught, I hold onto them for fear of them flowing away from me, but as they spin the ideas gather and the vortex gets bigger, I cannot express my ideas fast enough and as soon as they are on paper more and more are building……… its exhuasting and my head begins to feel engorged with heat and flickering images until I cant take anymore.
So I have stopped now, paper and perncils, illustrator and laptop are about to be put to bed and I am going to go to bed and rest my weary head. For tomorrow I am designing, huge spaces, so exciting.
The image is trying to portray how I feel when the brain is in abundant mode, creativity is pulsating and courses through my veins. (mixed media)